Affairs of M/Men

This is my favorite Administration story. Toreth is really freaked out about Warrick and can't even admit it to himself. He is so out of touch with his emotions he doesn't really think he even has any other than anger. It's interesting to see Toreth's struggle to comprehend feelings at all, and I think with each story I understand him better. I know some people are just getting sick of his inability to deal with being in love, but I think it's really complex and I think Francis has done it well.

Toreth really does have antisocial personality disorder which makes it extremely difficult for him to relate to or care about other human beings. But it's not the black and white disorder that we think of when we hear "sociopath." It's a spectrum just like any other mental health disorder. For an interesting take on it, read (or listen to, it was great being narrated by the author) [b:The Psychopath Test: A Journey Through the Madness Industry|9378733|The Psychopath Test A Journey Through the Madness Industry|Jon Ronson|http://d.gr-assets.com/books/1307825196s/9378733.jpg|14262366]. It's really funny but also very interesting and informative. (This is not the only source I have for my opinions on sociopathy.)

I think Francis has done a great job of understanding this mental health disorder and just how much it would take for someone like Toreth to feel something close to love, and whether it's even possible for him to love like the rest of us do. I've worked with a lot of kids with Reactive Attachment Disorder which exhibits similar symptoms so I guess it's easier for me to understand Toreth. My permanent daughter has it and she's not even as well functioning as Toreth. She does not and is not capable of comprehending love in a normal way at all. So this all feels real to me.

Anyway, in this one I finally believe that he really truly cares about Warrick and would be really upset to lose him. There's a line in here which I misread the first time but I realized is basically him saying, "I'm afraid that Warrick is too wrapped up in the game to care whether it's me he's doing it with and I don't want that--it terrifies me." This is different than when he's just jealous because he sees Warrick as a possession. This is Toreth realizing that Warrick's wants and needs matter to him. In a normal person I'd say he loves him; so maybe not quite but close. I think Warrick is seriously effed up for being in love with a guy who can't ever give back what Warrick needs but then again, he does love Toreth in his own way and he's accepted that he can't change Toreth but wants him anyway. I guess as long as his self-esteem isn't affected by it then it's not so messed up.